Why are there humans that still have no ability to find the internet? Why? Okay. I understand hard economic times, so you may not have internet at your house. But do you know that there are such things as an INTERNET CAFE? It is a magical place that servers coffee and biscuits and they have computers, just sitting there for you to use.
Also, there is a library, they indeed have computers with internet connections. Perhaps a friend has it on their phone or netbook. I would think with minimal effort you would stumble upon a slightly out of date computer running Windows 97 and dial up. Still works, it gets you to the very same internet that the rest of us enjoy.
Why then> Why? Can people not take care of their urgent business matters? Renew subscriptions, receive emails, generally keep up to date on the things important to them?
Is it because they really love the human contact of calling on the phone? Is it because they love the tactile bliss that is handling a pen and holding a piece of paper in their hands... OR IS IT the fact that people are far to lazy to haul their buns across the street to the library and take care of their own shit?
I have a similar story. Not related to the intarweb (again, a vast network of wires and tubes whereby one computater can speak to another...) This has to do with a different level of lazyness where i find myself asking... WHY?
I live on the third floor of my apartment building. In the land of Las Vegas, we like our apartment entrances on the outside so we each have our own door to the world. However, there is a hall connecting the front of the building to the back of the building (also outside.) Now, I live on the front side of the building, my parking space is on the back side of the building for an unknowable reason. I, therefore have to walk through this hall every day at least twice.
My wall neighbor, whose apartment door is at the top of the steps I frequent, has a habit. She likes to leave her garbage outside of her front door. I presume that this is so that she can grab it on the way down the steps and toss it in the dumpster before she drives off. Well... that rarely happens. What usually happens is the garbage that has been lovingly placed in front of a major walkway blows away, often off of the balcony and even more often... down the hall.
What do I do? Rather than let it pile up in there, or worse, blow down to my front door, pick it up. Walk it down to the dumpster... *sigh*
My WHY>? in this story is how could you let your trash fly away, clutter a hallway, and or fall on people? How could you be so lazy as to not walk your happy ass down to the dumpster? Two flights of steps? Come on, you could use the cardio.
Wonder if i should take a big crap on her doormat...? It that excessive retaliation?... I did have to pick up her tampon once...
Monday, July 27, 2009
Thursday, July 23, 2009
I have beef.
I work for a publishing company that does a lot of internet interactions. We send out emails to our members and we have several websites. All of which are secure and trustworthy. If you buy something from us you will get it, your credit card number is encrypted and no one can ever see it.
So here is my beef. I honestly have gotten 100s of emails from people who begin to sign up for something (which clearly costs money to be a member of) and freak out when they are asked to enter credit card information... How were you expecting to pay lady?!? Then I get these self righteous emails proclaiming that they never give out their credit card information to anyone on the internet... Well! Good for you!
Here is the flip side of that: we have a pay by check option. But they get an email and a phone call telling them that their service will not start until we receive their check... How can we operate a business this way? (By not giving you something for nothing perhaps?)
I am really sick of people who intentionally paralyze themselves with their fear of technology. Do you bank online? Do you pay bills online? Guess what?! And you know who else has all of your information on the internet? Your credit card company... yeah. Sorry people, they are far too big to house information in files in some elaborate maze of cabinets in an underground vault. (could you imagine THAT job? ... Gotta get the file... there it is... approved...)
So what I am really saying is... IF you choose to cut yourself off from 90% of the world (In other words, shopping, bill pay, research, services found on the internet for purchase) that is entirely your problem and please don't complain to me when you decide that your credit card number is too important to be encrypted and charged through a system of wires and tubes.
*twitch*
So here is my beef. I honestly have gotten 100s of emails from people who begin to sign up for something (which clearly costs money to be a member of) and freak out when they are asked to enter credit card information... How were you expecting to pay lady?!? Then I get these self righteous emails proclaiming that they never give out their credit card information to anyone on the internet... Well! Good for you!
Here is the flip side of that: we have a pay by check option. But they get an email and a phone call telling them that their service will not start until we receive their check... How can we operate a business this way? (By not giving you something for nothing perhaps?)
I am really sick of people who intentionally paralyze themselves with their fear of technology. Do you bank online? Do you pay bills online? Guess what?! And you know who else has all of your information on the internet? Your credit card company... yeah. Sorry people, they are far too big to house information in files in some elaborate maze of cabinets in an underground vault. (could you imagine THAT job? ... Gotta get the file... there it is... approved...)
So what I am really saying is... IF you choose to cut yourself off from 90% of the world (In other words, shopping, bill pay, research, services found on the internet for purchase) that is entirely your problem and please don't complain to me when you decide that your credit card number is too important to be encrypted and charged through a system of wires and tubes.
*twitch*
Friday, May 29, 2009
Mr..... Whatever
This is something I have been thinking of doing for a while, but let me start this way. I listen to a ... 3rd rate? Morning show on my way to work every morning. Every morning they struggle for interesting things to talk about, and every morning they get close, but generally have nothing to say. What I was thinking of doing was writing a blog every morning on the subject of their morning show. (Only to realize the inane nature of their banter precludes me from writing more than a sentence each morning.) This morning is different because I feel strongly on the topic.
As I was pulling onto the freeway this morning their segment started. To begin they sighted a book and even read an excerpt. (Something new, they usually get their material from Cosmo.) I just did some searching on the internet and I cannot find the book that they were referring to. The premise is this: Should you wait for "Mr. Right" or is having "Mr. Right Now" better than being alone?
Every woman's gut instinct is to say "Wait for True Love!!" Well, I challenge you to define that right now. It is as simple as listing three words the describe either the feeling or the act of being in "true" love. To be honest I scratch my head at this thought.
This radio show went on to discuss the idea of their perfect mate and how people's minds change as they grow up/grow older.
Now, I explain all of this because I want inject this blog with the things that I wanted to say to them.
I wanted to grab them and shake their faces. Then I wanted to ask the female (who is married) if she thinks love feels like she thought it would when she imagined it as a child/teenager. The answer, if I am not entirely delusional, would undoubtedly be "no."
Here are my theories on why. First, when you are a child of 10, and are beginning to think about prince charming sweeping you off of your feet, you have no idea what it is supposed to feel like. You are more interested in that all important kiss, becoming his princess, wearing the pretty clothes, and the living in his castle thing. We are taught that these are the fundamentals of love from what we see in Disney movies and fairy tales. The actual love part is secondary to the ability to get animals to do your chores and have fairies grant your wishes.
Later, in the teen years, we begin to think about how it may feel to be in love. The actual emotions that go into the act/state of being. Now, we may want to delude ourselves into believing that we start questioning this because we are are becoming evolved individuals and are speeding toward the enlightenment of adulthood. Let us level with ourselves for a moment. The reason we are thinking about how it feels is because we are receiving steady speed-balls of hormones from or glands. Speed balls that help us to cry at the drop of a hat and/or run screaming into our rooms because, inexplicably our parents are out to make our lives hell.
During these teen years crushes feel like life and death and lust is so real in our loins that this is what love feels like to us in this stage of our lives. We are also prone to watching teen films that teach us that our love has to be forbidden, fought for, and raging with passion and fire. Now.... although this sounds wonderful think about how fast you went through crushes in junior high and high school. One a week? One a month. At the very least one per term. (Because you switch classes and can no longer stair longingly across the room in history, but the guy in gym class has a wicked layup.) This is because fire and passion burn hot and fast. Once the passion is out out the picture what are we left with? An F in history and a complex about not sweating during the basketball unit. Certainly no "True Love."
In our 20's we have no idea what love is or how it is supposed to feel. What if we encounter it? We have no idea what it is. We start to feel like every love or even like that we experience pales in comparison to the way we felt in high school. That and there are two conflicting forces at work in your 20's: The need for sex and the need to find a long term relationship. This is where we begin to break out the Mr.Right and the Mr.Right Now categories.
Mr.Right will have a house and a job but still make us feel that crazy gut wrenching sensation when we look at him or he takes his shirt off... or does a layup. Mr. Right Now doesn't need a house, or a job he needs to fill one level of need, whichever level you are feeling particularly depleted in. This could mean he is a great kisser, or is really attentive. This could mean that he is great in the sack or a joy to be around. But not all of these things. Which is fundamentally what we want. House, job, gut wrenching, great kisser, great in the sack, cooks, cleans, attentive, huge... presence. All of that.
So now here is what I project for the 30's. Women start to feel the combine pressure of starting/having a family and longing for the fantasy that they have played out in their head for the past 20 years. They start to see every man as Mr. Right Now and concoct even more ridiculous standards for Mr. Right to abide by.
Conversely in the late 30's if you are still single, by virtue of impossible standards and Sex and the City reruns, your standards begin to degrade. You start to see anything with a penis as a possible candidate simply by virtue of their ability to inseminate you.
To recap: The phases of Mr. Right.
10-teen: Anyone who will kiss me and make me a princess.
Teen-20: Dreamy eyes, and nice voice... anyone who make me feel... that way.
20's: Has a job, a house, and fits into the tall dark and handsome category, aka makes me feel... that way.
Early 30's: Mr. Right is hiding. And now he needs a 401K and character references.
Late 30's: Mr. Right doesn't exist, if it has a penis, pays attention to me, and will let me use its penis for baby making it is in.
In my infinite knowledge and power allow me to dispel some myths.
This first thing I would like to address is a history lesson.
There was no such thing as "True Love" before there was French occupation of England. This is the age of the courtier. Norman conquest was around 1066 which means that things really got rolling around the 1100-1200's. Before this we don't see love matches, marriages were political and practical. And even during this period matches were political and for the best of both parties. Now, most historians attribute this need for romance to courtly life. In other words: free time and closed quarters. I want to place a stronger emphasis on the bard, the minstrel, the jester, and the poet. These were the people charged with spinning entertaining stories. This is where our love tales were born. Forbidden romance, princesses being saved from castles, and the ability to marry for love.
You are going to groan if you haven't already figured it out. But it is the media that is making you miserable. 10 year old girls are bummed that the cannot be saved by the prince, teens are bummed that their high school experience in no way resembles the ones portrayed on tv shows and in the movies. 20somethings regret not falling for their high school sweet heart and compare the men at the bar to their favorite media icons. It goes on and on.
I am not about to say that you must dispel the notion that you will ever have that gut wrenching, heart pounding The Notebook love.... What I want to point out is that it is an invented feeling. Poets who were writing about it, and indeed inventing it, had no idea what it was supposed to be like. And people no doubt experience things differently from one another. Not only from person to person but from age to age. An example that I can defiantly point to is teen to 20's. You will never again have that many hormones firing at once (except possibly during pregnancy) so there is no way to replicate those feelings in adulthood. It is silly to expect it.
Conversely it is hard for me to believe that people "fall" in love. I feel that if you have no choice in the matter there is no reason to search for it, there is no reason to wait around... if it will passively happen to you you should be alone until the magic moment happens and be happy until you die. Please tell me you have a problem with the notion too.
Okay, so I believe loving someone is a decision that you make. Not to be compared to picking out fruit at the grocery store, but more like choosing a friend. You either overlook their flaws or get over them. You either have a lot in common with them or learn to like what they like. Hopefully they can do the same for you.
If we approach romantic relationships the same way we will have far more success. You ask what of attraction? That I can describe in a few different ways. One is scientific one supernatural.
Science first shall we? Pheromones. This is how our bodies determine if who we are encountering is a sexual threat, or a predatory threat. This is how we determine if someone is beneficial to us, or if they are sexually attractive. The more you are around someone the more things you find that you like about them, the more tastes you get of those pheromones at different points the more your body recognizes them as sexually enticing. Da ta dada! Attraction.
Call it aura, call it personal energy, whatever... You can sense when a person walks up behind you because the disturb the air. They say that the more time you spend with a person the more your auras sink up. Well... take this a step further. The more time you spend with a person the more you learn about them. Instead of being blinded by their bad qualities you are able to see all the things that you actually like about the person.
Apply these things to a relationship... You meet someone you are not disgusted by them. You date. The more you get to know them the more you like them. You like their hair, their smell, oo! dreamy eyes! Then you "fall" in love. No, no, no... your bodies and auras sync up and you choose to love them. Then comes the hard part. Staying in love. You must, on a daily basis choose to wake up with them, go to sleep with them, continue to love them. It is not a conscious thing, but it is defiantly happening every day.
Sound romantic? No. But I think that things have a way of becoming inflated in our culture. Love, something that is beautiful and wonderful is put in some unattainable category where no one (especially women) can reach it. (Shorter arms) Love, something that is a chemical reaction in our bodies is treated like an ethereal notion of the heart...(an organ... wha?)
I offer a perspective on balance. Sure growing does a lot to change our views on love and our standards for a relationship, but I would rather people consider the facts. Consider themselves and be making decisions based on something that they have spent some time thinking about. The ten minutes you spent reading this for example... that gave you time to think. That is all I can ask.
As I was pulling onto the freeway this morning their segment started. To begin they sighted a book and even read an excerpt. (Something new, they usually get their material from Cosmo.) I just did some searching on the internet and I cannot find the book that they were referring to. The premise is this: Should you wait for "Mr. Right" or is having "Mr. Right Now" better than being alone?
Every woman's gut instinct is to say "Wait for True Love!!" Well, I challenge you to define that right now. It is as simple as listing three words the describe either the feeling or the act of being in "true" love. To be honest I scratch my head at this thought.
This radio show went on to discuss the idea of their perfect mate and how people's minds change as they grow up/grow older.
Now, I explain all of this because I want inject this blog with the things that I wanted to say to them.
I wanted to grab them and shake their faces. Then I wanted to ask the female (who is married) if she thinks love feels like she thought it would when she imagined it as a child/teenager. The answer, if I am not entirely delusional, would undoubtedly be "no."
Here are my theories on why. First, when you are a child of 10, and are beginning to think about prince charming sweeping you off of your feet, you have no idea what it is supposed to feel like. You are more interested in that all important kiss, becoming his princess, wearing the pretty clothes, and the living in his castle thing. We are taught that these are the fundamentals of love from what we see in Disney movies and fairy tales. The actual love part is secondary to the ability to get animals to do your chores and have fairies grant your wishes.
Later, in the teen years, we begin to think about how it may feel to be in love. The actual emotions that go into the act/state of being. Now, we may want to delude ourselves into believing that we start questioning this because we are are becoming evolved individuals and are speeding toward the enlightenment of adulthood. Let us level with ourselves for a moment. The reason we are thinking about how it feels is because we are receiving steady speed-balls of hormones from or glands. Speed balls that help us to cry at the drop of a hat and/or run screaming into our rooms because, inexplicably our parents are out to make our lives hell.
During these teen years crushes feel like life and death and lust is so real in our loins that this is what love feels like to us in this stage of our lives. We are also prone to watching teen films that teach us that our love has to be forbidden, fought for, and raging with passion and fire. Now.... although this sounds wonderful think about how fast you went through crushes in junior high and high school. One a week? One a month. At the very least one per term. (Because you switch classes and can no longer stair longingly across the room in history, but the guy in gym class has a wicked layup.) This is because fire and passion burn hot and fast. Once the passion is out out the picture what are we left with? An F in history and a complex about not sweating during the basketball unit. Certainly no "True Love."
In our 20's we have no idea what love is or how it is supposed to feel. What if we encounter it? We have no idea what it is. We start to feel like every love or even like that we experience pales in comparison to the way we felt in high school. That and there are two conflicting forces at work in your 20's: The need for sex and the need to find a long term relationship. This is where we begin to break out the Mr.Right and the Mr.Right Now categories.
Mr.Right will have a house and a job but still make us feel that crazy gut wrenching sensation when we look at him or he takes his shirt off... or does a layup. Mr. Right Now doesn't need a house, or a job he needs to fill one level of need, whichever level you are feeling particularly depleted in. This could mean he is a great kisser, or is really attentive. This could mean that he is great in the sack or a joy to be around. But not all of these things. Which is fundamentally what we want. House, job, gut wrenching, great kisser, great in the sack, cooks, cleans, attentive, huge... presence. All of that.
So now here is what I project for the 30's. Women start to feel the combine pressure of starting/having a family and longing for the fantasy that they have played out in their head for the past 20 years. They start to see every man as Mr. Right Now and concoct even more ridiculous standards for Mr. Right to abide by.
Conversely in the late 30's if you are still single, by virtue of impossible standards and Sex and the City reruns, your standards begin to degrade. You start to see anything with a penis as a possible candidate simply by virtue of their ability to inseminate you.
To recap: The phases of Mr. Right.
10-teen: Anyone who will kiss me and make me a princess.
Teen-20: Dreamy eyes, and nice voice... anyone who make me feel... that way.
20's: Has a job, a house, and fits into the tall dark and handsome category, aka makes me feel... that way.
Early 30's: Mr. Right is hiding. And now he needs a 401K and character references.
Late 30's: Mr. Right doesn't exist, if it has a penis, pays attention to me, and will let me use its penis for baby making it is in.
In my infinite knowledge and power allow me to dispel some myths.
This first thing I would like to address is a history lesson.
There was no such thing as "True Love" before there was French occupation of England. This is the age of the courtier. Norman conquest was around 1066 which means that things really got rolling around the 1100-1200's. Before this we don't see love matches, marriages were political and practical. And even during this period matches were political and for the best of both parties. Now, most historians attribute this need for romance to courtly life. In other words: free time and closed quarters. I want to place a stronger emphasis on the bard, the minstrel, the jester, and the poet. These were the people charged with spinning entertaining stories. This is where our love tales were born. Forbidden romance, princesses being saved from castles, and the ability to marry for love.
You are going to groan if you haven't already figured it out. But it is the media that is making you miserable. 10 year old girls are bummed that the cannot be saved by the prince, teens are bummed that their high school experience in no way resembles the ones portrayed on tv shows and in the movies. 20somethings regret not falling for their high school sweet heart and compare the men at the bar to their favorite media icons. It goes on and on.
I am not about to say that you must dispel the notion that you will ever have that gut wrenching, heart pounding The Notebook love.... What I want to point out is that it is an invented feeling. Poets who were writing about it, and indeed inventing it, had no idea what it was supposed to be like. And people no doubt experience things differently from one another. Not only from person to person but from age to age. An example that I can defiantly point to is teen to 20's. You will never again have that many hormones firing at once (except possibly during pregnancy) so there is no way to replicate those feelings in adulthood. It is silly to expect it.
Conversely it is hard for me to believe that people "fall" in love. I feel that if you have no choice in the matter there is no reason to search for it, there is no reason to wait around... if it will passively happen to you you should be alone until the magic moment happens and be happy until you die. Please tell me you have a problem with the notion too.
Okay, so I believe loving someone is a decision that you make. Not to be compared to picking out fruit at the grocery store, but more like choosing a friend. You either overlook their flaws or get over them. You either have a lot in common with them or learn to like what they like. Hopefully they can do the same for you.
If we approach romantic relationships the same way we will have far more success. You ask what of attraction? That I can describe in a few different ways. One is scientific one supernatural.
Science first shall we? Pheromones. This is how our bodies determine if who we are encountering is a sexual threat, or a predatory threat. This is how we determine if someone is beneficial to us, or if they are sexually attractive. The more you are around someone the more things you find that you like about them, the more tastes you get of those pheromones at different points the more your body recognizes them as sexually enticing. Da ta dada! Attraction.
Call it aura, call it personal energy, whatever... You can sense when a person walks up behind you because the disturb the air. They say that the more time you spend with a person the more your auras sink up. Well... take this a step further. The more time you spend with a person the more you learn about them. Instead of being blinded by their bad qualities you are able to see all the things that you actually like about the person.
Apply these things to a relationship... You meet someone you are not disgusted by them. You date. The more you get to know them the more you like them. You like their hair, their smell, oo! dreamy eyes! Then you "fall" in love. No, no, no... your bodies and auras sync up and you choose to love them. Then comes the hard part. Staying in love. You must, on a daily basis choose to wake up with them, go to sleep with them, continue to love them. It is not a conscious thing, but it is defiantly happening every day.
Sound romantic? No. But I think that things have a way of becoming inflated in our culture. Love, something that is beautiful and wonderful is put in some unattainable category where no one (especially women) can reach it. (Shorter arms) Love, something that is a chemical reaction in our bodies is treated like an ethereal notion of the heart...(an organ... wha?)
I offer a perspective on balance. Sure growing does a lot to change our views on love and our standards for a relationship, but I would rather people consider the facts. Consider themselves and be making decisions based on something that they have spent some time thinking about. The ten minutes you spent reading this for example... that gave you time to think. That is all I can ask.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Ohmigosh! A car that goes on the WALL?
Really. NO, no. I know how hard it is to get a job. I know you have to take whatever job you can get and work it to the best of your ability. But come on! Come around to offices and sell wall climbing cars?
No, leave. There is a sign on the door that says you are not welcome and I won't buy your stuff.
Are there other people here? Yes, but as the guardian of the gateway to the other offices, so help me if I have to tell you to leave again I will put this flip flop in your ass!
No, leave. There is a sign on the door that says you are not welcome and I won't buy your stuff.
Are there other people here? Yes, but as the guardian of the gateway to the other offices, so help me if I have to tell you to leave again I will put this flip flop in your ass!
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Today is the day I begin to Blog again.
Hello. Blogger. Sorry I have neglected you. *pat, pat*
This Blog is jut for Michael who has asked me to blog again because he checks daily and wishes that I would update this year.
A thought that occurred to me this morning: Prius drivers are raging bastards.
This morning a man driving a red Toyota Prius decided he needed to exit from the highway onto an incredibly backed up exit ramp. To accomplish this he drove (nearly over the median) across the line of cars and into line in front of me. Although I let him in to prevent future accidents I was unhappy about it.
This exit goes from one lane to three so that people may go right, left or straight. Once the line of cars began to move this Prius, who obviously didn't know this fact decided to stay between two lanes as it divided preventing me from getting into the left lane to turn. I stayed a bit behind him (refusing to drive over the median myself) and kept the line moving as much as I could. As the gap between me and the next car ahead of me in my lane grew I got increasingly irritated.
Finally the the man driving the Prius decided that he needed to turn left to and got in my lane. (*anger....* fine, whatever... almost to work)So we turned. I got into the lane behind him... and he seemed to be going really slow... and getting SLOWER. Suddenly he whips into the left turn lane (even though it is a left turn lane for the opposite direction, if you tried to turn left where he was trying to turn you would find a fence really fast.)He needed to make a u-turn... in morning traffic. Brilliant. No doubt to get back on the highway and attempt an exit at a different location in front of another commuter.
On another note: http://www.bakonvodka.com/ Bacon Vodka...
This Blog is jut for Michael who has asked me to blog again because he checks daily and wishes that I would update this year.
A thought that occurred to me this morning: Prius drivers are raging bastards.
This morning a man driving a red Toyota Prius decided he needed to exit from the highway onto an incredibly backed up exit ramp. To accomplish this he drove (nearly over the median) across the line of cars and into line in front of me. Although I let him in to prevent future accidents I was unhappy about it.
This exit goes from one lane to three so that people may go right, left or straight. Once the line of cars began to move this Prius, who obviously didn't know this fact decided to stay between two lanes as it divided preventing me from getting into the left lane to turn. I stayed a bit behind him (refusing to drive over the median myself) and kept the line moving as much as I could. As the gap between me and the next car ahead of me in my lane grew I got increasingly irritated.
Finally the the man driving the Prius decided that he needed to turn left to and got in my lane. (*anger....* fine, whatever... almost to work)So we turned. I got into the lane behind him... and he seemed to be going really slow... and getting SLOWER. Suddenly he whips into the left turn lane (even though it is a left turn lane for the opposite direction, if you tried to turn left where he was trying to turn you would find a fence really fast.)He needed to make a u-turn... in morning traffic. Brilliant. No doubt to get back on the highway and attempt an exit at a different location in front of another commuter.
On another note: http://www.bakonvodka.com/ Bacon Vodka...
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