Quickest Blog ever

I wanted to throw some love out to my fiance -- He just got his Facebook game approved! So he is really excited. I would like to share it with everyone I can, and this means calling out to all those people who may read/stumble across my blog.
It is called PhotoPursuit, you can find it by searching that term on your fb home page. It is a little photo hunt game. Really nice and clean. Not spammy like so many other games. However, you can choose to invite your friends if you like the game enough and you want to challenge someone. I like it. I keep trying to challenge people to beat my high score... but I will let you in on a little secret. That isn't my high score. The girl who made all the pictures for the game did that. :) I still challenge you! Simply because I know it cannot be done.

The link is http://apps.facebook.com/photopursuit/ 

or again, SEARCH: PhotoPursuit
Or click on any of the links in this post!

You can send feedback to  anthony@multilytics.com HE WOULD LOVE IT!

St. Andrews and Other Considerations

Well, I was not accepted to my first choice grad school and it has had me changing the way I think. Since I am not attending grad school in the immediate future I feel like I am able to live.

Since not getting accepted I have:
Worked on the website, at least a portion each day
(it looks much better)
Began a Blog with my friend
(Which now has almost as many post as this blog)
Outlined several programs that I need to have built for my Web site
Began looking at other grad programs
Started looking at houses to rent/buy

I consider all of these things to be positive and constructive. Additionally I am allowing myself to be excited about planning a wedding. Of course it will always be a big scary deal, but the idea of looking for a dress and picking out colors and flowers is now  fun and interesting rather than horrifying and drudgery.

I have had several story ideas and comic ideas come to me in the past few months. Of course I write the idea down and never do any of the actual writing of the story. This is something that I hope to rectify. It is on my list of things that I want to get accomplished. (haha) In honesty I need to work on some of the ideas if for no other reason than to strengthen my portfolio. I also need to do that all important thing and get published. No small feat.

It was my birthday this week. I know my age plays no role in what I do but I really thought I would be in a different place by now. I had different plans for myself. I was going to already have a masters degree and be working on a Phd by now... and in a year I thought I would be dead. Thing change. Now I know that neither of those things are on the horizon. (except the dying, how knows.) Now that sentiment reminds me how emo I was when I was younger. It is both refreshing and terrifying.

I am strongly considering a path in psychology as of late. I think I would make a good councilor. All thoughts, all considerations.

Nervous Blogging

I have been blogging and replying to blogs in all of my free time today... that isn't saying much but my blogging has gone up. If it was being graphed there would be a spike today. Right now I am on my lunch. This consist of a piece of lasagna from yesterday and a Wild Cherry Pepsi. The Pepsi is making my stomach hurt but I must extract the caffeine from its cola insides. Why?

Well, it happens once a week at least: The coffee incident. I usually have 2 cups of coffee a day. This is for its health benefits and to make my eyes pop open far enough to read a computer monitor. Today I got through my first cup and poured a second. Then I got very busy, there was a newsletter to get out and some articles to edit (or at least spruce), there were phone calls and emails and ... things ba dumbum. My second cup of coffee got about half drunk. I reach for it, not thinking, over an hour later and take a big sip... STONE COLD. Then, what do you do? Run to the bathroom and spit it out? Spit it back into the cup? Try to gag it down? I did the gagging thing.

Why does this incident strike me so if I do it once a week? It doesn't. I am nervous blogging. I feel like I need to start creating thing or I will burst. This is a quick and easy way to do that. It also keeps my thought busy so I don't fret about the fact that I have not gotten a reply from grad school yet. I am nervous blogging because I feel directionless and stranded. I complain about work too much and I do too little to improve my situation and my life. I hope I am looking into grad schools for the right reasons, not just as an escape from my current life and situation.

I did discover something today. One of my friends got a reply from the same grad school I applied for. I feel sad that she did not get accepted but I am excited to realize that I would still go even though she may not be there. I am excited to learn that I was applying for myself and not just to attend the same school as someone that I am close to. I am able to separate the emotion. Being sad for her, and being excited that I still have a chance to get in... EVEN THOUGH THEY NEED TO HURRY THEIR ASSES UP!! hem...

Emo Thrusday

I find that Thursdays are either fantastic or existential. I cannot have an average Thursday.

Last Thursday was fan-frikken-tastic. I had a mountain of work to do from the holiday break and I got through all of it. Not just some minimal portion, but all of it. I was searching for work to do by the end of the day. (This turned out to be a good thing because Friday and Monday of this week were "insane in the membrane" to quote Cypress Hill... and I did, confessing my child-of-the-90's-ness) Ok. So Last Thursday=awesome.

TODAY!!!
Existential. One of my compatriots broke down and went to see Avatar (bleh) last night. He came in and told me all about how I must go see it. I now... tentatively... agree. I should go see it because from what he says it has already carved a place in the cannon. But! He cautioned me "it gets no points in originality of plot."

The plot, if you could not tell from the trailer is either Pocahontas or Dances With Wolves http://www.geeksaresexy.net/2010/01/03/james-camerons-pocahontas-avatar/

All of the names in the movie are EXTREMELY FAMILIAR. Avatar as in - do you wanna date my, the last airbender, the thing you find at the top of your screen on your screen on yahoo etc. etc. However, this I can forgive. It makes sense since it is alluding to the fact that the main guy has an avatar of himself that he becomes blah, blah, blah.

Na'Vi - The race of smurf-like, lion faced blue people who evoke the memory of Mystique from X-men....(Rebecca Romijn ftw) Na'Vi, as in Navi, as in "HEY LISTEN". Na'Vi as in Navigation as in moral compass... whatever...

Pandora - The place the Na'Vi live... just... yeah.

He goes on to inform me that a lot of the art in the movie was ripped off of album covers that Roger Dean did for the band "Yes" among other works of art. Other people came to the same conclusion http://blog.signalnoise.com/2010/01/06/avatar-vs-roger-dean/
Now. It got us to talking about originality in art. How everything is a copy of a rip-off of a remake. Nothing is stand out and stand alone.

:: Copied from chat log ::

Him		someone else came to the same conclusion: http://blog.signalnoise.com/2010/01/06/avatar-vs-roger-dean/
Me		there is nothing new to be created in the world... everything is a rip off of a rip off of a rip off... *sigh* I may have to go cut myself
Him		well, some of this is true
Him		firefly was pretty original
Me		it was a western in space... which isn't as original as it sounds since we have been calling space "the final frontier" since Start Trek
Me		.... Start Trek... the last original work
Him		yes, but westerns for the most part are rip-offs of japanese samurai films from the 40s
Me		Hmmm.
Him		and star trek is technically a rip-off of morality plays from the midievil period
Him		i can validate your statement about nothing being original, but i don't think that's the case
Me		The original series always reminded me of greek plays... with the big masks.
Him		hell, that too! bamn, you're on it

So I suppose I have had this conversation before. I can recall having it several times in college. However, I can never pinpoint the moment that can be defined as the last original moment. Innovation began at fire and ended at the wheel. Everything else is an improvement upon that structure. There is nothing new in the universe, there is no point in striving toward new and interesting thoughts, ideas or art.

Then the only reason to create is the need to do things for yourself. To personally learn what can be done with paints and keystrokes. An entirely masturbatory measure.

However since there is no reason to be original since it is impossible then there is no shame in committing act that everything indie in your soul tells you not to do. SO! I can feel free to see Avatar for no other reason than it is a film that should cause me some enjoyment. This also gives me license to listen to Lady Gaga and Basshunter back to back, oh yeah!

Once you are free from the need to be oritional you are free to be yourslef... A copy, of a copy of a copy through eterntity.

Why>?

Why are there humans that still have no ability to find the internet? Why? Okay. I understand hard economic times, so you may not have internet at your house. But do you know that there are such things as an INTERNET CAFE? It is a magical place that servers coffee and biscuits and they have computers, just sitting there for you to use.
Also, there is a library, they indeed have computers with internet connections. Perhaps a friend has it on their phone or netbook. I would think with minimal effort you would stumble upon a slightly out of date computer running Windows 97 and dial up. Still works, it gets you to the very same internet that the rest of us enjoy.

Why then> Why? Can people not take care of their urgent business matters? Renew subscriptions, receive emails, generally keep up to date on the things important to them?

Is it because they really love the human contact of calling on the phone? Is it because they love the tactile bliss that is handling a pen and holding a piece of paper in their hands... OR IS IT the fact that people are far to lazy to haul their buns across the street to the library and take care of their own shit?

I have a similar story. Not related to the intarweb (again, a vast network of wires and tubes whereby one computater can speak to another...) This has to do with a different level of lazyness where i find myself asking... WHY?

I live on the third floor of my apartment building. In the land of Las Vegas, we like our apartment entrances on the outside so we each have our own door to the world. However, there is a hall connecting the front of the building to the back of the building (also outside.) Now, I live on the front side of the building, my parking space is on the back side of the building for an unknowable reason. I, therefore have to walk through this hall every day at least twice.

My wall neighbor, whose apartment door is at the top of the steps I frequent, has a habit. She likes to leave her garbage outside of her front door. I presume that this is so that she can grab it on the way down the steps and toss it in the dumpster before she drives off. Well... that rarely happens. What usually happens is the garbage that has been lovingly placed in front of a major walkway blows away, often off of the balcony and even more often... down the hall.

What do I do? Rather than let it pile up in there, or worse, blow down to my front door, pick it up. Walk it down to the dumpster... *sigh*

My WHY>? in this story is how could you let your trash fly away, clutter a hallway, and or fall on people? How could you be so lazy as to not walk your happy ass down to the dumpster? Two flights of steps? Come on, you could use the cardio.

Wonder if i should take a big crap on her doormat...? It that excessive retaliation?... I did have to pick up her tampon once...

I have beef.

I work for a publishing company that does a lot of internet interactions. We send out emails to our members and we have several websites. All of which are secure and trustworthy. If you buy something from us you will get it, your credit card number is encrypted and no one can ever see it.

So here is my beef. I honestly have gotten 100s of emails from people who begin to sign up for something (which clearly costs money to be a member of) and freak out when they are asked to enter credit card information... How were you expecting to pay lady?!? Then I get these self righteous emails proclaiming that they never give out their credit card information to anyone on the internet... Well! Good for you!

Here is the flip side of that: we have a pay by check option. But they get an email and a phone call telling them that their service will not start until we receive their check... How can we operate a business this way? (By not giving you something for nothing perhaps?)

I am really sick of people who intentionally paralyze themselves with their fear of technology. Do you bank online? Do you pay bills online? Guess what?! And you know who else has all of your information on the internet? Your credit card company... yeah. Sorry people, they are far too big to house information in files in some elaborate maze of cabinets in an underground vault. (could you imagine THAT job? ... Gotta get the file... there it is... approved...)

So what I am really saying is... IF you choose to cut yourself off from 90% of the world (In other words, shopping, bill pay, research, services found on the internet for purchase) that is entirely your problem and please don't complain to me when you decide that your credit card number is too important to be encrypted and charged through a system of wires and tubes.
*twitch*

Mr..... Whatever

This is something I have been thinking of doing for a while, but let me start this way. I listen to a ... 3rd rate? Morning show on my way to work every morning. Every morning they struggle for interesting things to talk about, and every morning they get close, but generally have nothing to say. What I was thinking of doing was writing a blog every morning on the subject of their morning show. (Only to realize the inane nature of their banter precludes me from writing more than a sentence each morning.) This morning is different because I feel strongly on the topic.

As I was pulling onto the freeway this morning their segment started. To begin they sighted a book and even read an excerpt. (Something new, they usually get their material from Cosmo.) I just did some searching on the internet and I cannot find the book that they were referring to. The premise is this: Should you wait for "Mr. Right" or is having "Mr. Right Now" better than being alone?

Every woman's gut instinct is to say "Wait for True Love!!" Well, I challenge you to define that right now. It is as simple as listing three words the describe either the feeling or the act of being in "true" love. To be honest I scratch my head at this thought.

This radio show went on to discuss the idea of their perfect mate and how people's minds change as they grow up/grow older.

Now, I explain all of this because I want inject this blog with the things that I wanted to say to them.

I wanted to grab them and shake their faces. Then I wanted to ask the female (who is married) if she thinks love feels like she thought it would when she imagined it as a child/teenager. The answer, if I am not entirely delusional, would undoubtedly be "no."

Here are my theories on why. First, when you are a child of 10, and are beginning to think about prince charming sweeping you off of your feet, you have no idea what it is supposed to feel like. You are more interested in that all important kiss, becoming his princess, wearing the pretty clothes, and the living in his castle thing. We are taught that these are the fundamentals of love from what we see in Disney movies and fairy tales. The actual love part is secondary to the ability to get animals to do your chores and have fairies grant your wishes.

Later, in the teen years, we begin to think about how it may feel to be in love. The actual emotions that go into the act/state of being. Now, we may want to delude ourselves into believing that we start questioning this because we are are becoming evolved individuals and are speeding toward the enlightenment of adulthood. Let us level with ourselves for a moment. The reason we are thinking about how it feels is because we are receiving steady speed-balls of hormones from or glands. Speed balls that help us to cry at the drop of a hat and/or run screaming into our rooms because, inexplicably our parents are out to make our lives hell.

During these teen years crushes feel like life and death and lust is so real in our loins that this is what love feels like to us in this stage of our lives. We are also prone to watching teen films that teach us that our love has to be forbidden, fought for, and raging with passion and fire. Now.... although this sounds wonderful think about how fast you went through crushes in junior high and high school. One a week? One a month. At the very least one per term. (Because you switch classes and can no longer stair longingly across the room in history, but the guy in gym class has a wicked layup.) This is because fire and passion burn hot and fast. Once the passion is out out the picture what are we left with? An F in history and a complex about not sweating during the basketball unit. Certainly no "True Love."

In our 20's we have no idea what love is or how it is supposed to feel. What if we encounter it? We have no idea what it is. We start to feel like every love or even like that we experience pales in comparison to the way we felt in high school. That and there are two conflicting forces at work in your 20's: The need for sex and the need to find a long term relationship. This is where we begin to break out the Mr.Right and the Mr.Right Now categories.

Mr.Right will have a house and a job but still make us feel that crazy gut wrenching sensation when we look at him or he takes his shirt off... or does a layup. Mr. Right Now doesn't need a house, or a job he needs to fill one level of need, whichever level you are feeling particularly depleted in. This could mean he is a great kisser, or is really attentive. This could mean that he is great in the sack or a joy to be around. But not all of these things. Which is fundamentally what we want. House, job, gut wrenching, great kisser, great in the sack, cooks, cleans, attentive, huge... presence. All of that.

So now here is what I project for the 30's. Women start to feel the combine pressure of starting/having a family and longing for the fantasy that they have played out in their head for the past 20 years. They start to see every man as Mr. Right Now and concoct even more ridiculous standards for Mr. Right to abide by.

Conversely in the late 30's if you are still single, by virtue of impossible standards and Sex and the City reruns, your standards begin to degrade. You start to see anything with a penis as a possible candidate simply by virtue of their ability to inseminate you.

To recap: The phases of Mr. Right.

10-teen: Anyone who will kiss me and make me a princess.

Teen-20: Dreamy eyes, and nice voice... anyone who make me feel... that way.

20's: Has a job, a house, and fits into the tall dark and handsome category, aka makes me feel... that way.

Early 30's: Mr. Right is hiding. And now he needs a 401K and character references.

Late 30's: Mr. Right doesn't exist, if it has a penis, pays attention to me, and will let me use its penis for baby making it is in.


In my infinite knowledge and power allow me to dispel some myths.

This first thing I would like to address is a history lesson.
There was no such thing as "True Love" before there was French occupation of England. This is the age of the courtier. Norman conquest was around 1066 which means that things really got rolling around the 1100-1200's. Before this we don't see love matches, marriages were political and practical. And even during this period matches were political and for the best of both parties. Now, most historians attribute this need for romance to courtly life. In other words: free time and closed quarters. I want to place a stronger emphasis on the bard, the minstrel, the jester, and the poet. These were the people charged with spinning entertaining stories. This is where our love tales were born. Forbidden romance, princesses being saved from castles, and the ability to marry for love.


You are going to groan if you haven't already figured it out. But it is the media that is making you miserable. 10 year old girls are bummed that the cannot be saved by the prince, teens are bummed that their high school experience in no way resembles the ones portrayed on tv shows and in the movies. 20somethings regret not falling for their high school sweet heart and compare the men at the bar to their favorite media icons. It goes on and on.

I am not about to say that you must dispel the notion that you will ever have that gut wrenching, heart pounding The Notebook love.... What I want to point out is that it is an invented feeling. Poets who were writing about it, and indeed inventing it, had no idea what it was supposed to be like. And people no doubt experience things differently from one another. Not only from person to person but from age to age. An example that I can defiantly point to is teen to 20's. You will never again have that many hormones firing at once (except possibly during pregnancy) so there is no way to replicate those feelings in adulthood. It is silly to expect it.

Conversely it is hard for me to believe that people "fall" in love. I feel that if you have no choice in the matter there is no reason to search for it, there is no reason to wait around... if it will passively happen to you you should be alone until the magic moment happens and be happy until you die. Please tell me you have a problem with the notion too.

Okay, so I believe loving someone is a decision that you make. Not to be compared to picking out fruit at the grocery store, but more like choosing a friend. You either overlook their flaws or get over them. You either have a lot in common with them or learn to like what they like. Hopefully they can do the same for you.

If we approach romantic relationships the same way we will have far more success. You ask what of attraction? That I can describe in a few different ways. One is scientific one supernatural.

Science first shall we? Pheromones. This is how our bodies determine if who we are encountering is a sexual threat, or a predatory threat. This is how we determine if someone is beneficial to us, or if they are sexually attractive. The more you are around someone the more things you find that you like about them, the more tastes you get of those pheromones at different points the more your body recognizes them as sexually enticing. Da ta dada! Attraction.

Call it aura, call it personal energy, whatever... You can sense when a person walks up behind you because the disturb the air. They say that the more time you spend with a person the more your auras sink up. Well... take this a step further. The more time you spend with a person the more you learn about them. Instead of being blinded by their bad qualities you are able to see all the things that you actually like about the person.

Apply these things to a relationship... You meet someone you are not disgusted by them. You date. The more you get to know them the more you like them. You like their hair, their smell, oo! dreamy eyes! Then you "fall" in love. No, no, no... your bodies and auras sync up and you choose to love them. Then comes the hard part. Staying in love. You must, on a daily basis choose to wake up with them, go to sleep with them, continue to love them. It is not a conscious thing, but it is defiantly happening every day.

Sound romantic? No. But I think that things have a way of becoming inflated in our culture. Love, something that is beautiful and wonderful is put in some unattainable category where no one (especially women) can reach it. (Shorter arms) Love, something that is a chemical reaction in our bodies is treated like an ethereal notion of the heart...(an organ... wha?)

I offer a perspective on balance. Sure growing does a lot to change our views on love and our standards for a relationship, but I would rather people consider the facts. Consider themselves and be making decisions based on something that they have spent some time thinking about. The ten minutes you spent reading this for example... that gave you time to think. That is all I can ask.